3 hidden costs of copywriting

When it comes to some things, you know it's best to get the experts in. Need a website? Call the web guy. Need a brochure? Call the designer.

Website building is a specialist skill, as is design. You don't learn it at school unless you choose the course. Unlike writing. We're all taught to write.

With limited money in the pot, copy is a ripe corner for cutting. However, be aware, there are hidden costs.

1. How much is YOUR time worth?
What isn't getting done because you're writing copy? How much are you being paid while not doing something you're supposed to?

2. Are you delaying the return on your investment?
How long have you been putting off writing that copy? Are you holding up a campaign that could be delivering sales? Is your new website on hold waiting for your words?

3. Sure your copy does your company justice?
By developing your website, having brochures designed and printed, running a mail shot, you're investing in the future of your business. If your prospects leave with an impression of 'style over substance', that expense is wasted.

What you want to say shouldn't be an afterthought. Strange how having something look right steals priority.

Who can still afford wasteful marketing?

You may have noticed a big production ad campaign featuring Bruce Willis, Elle McPherson, Ringo Starr, Macaulay Culkin and others. Yes, Norwich Union feel the need to tell us they're now called Aviva in a big way. You' be forgiven for thinking some financial services providers must still be raking it in to afford such self indulgence.

Don't get me wrong, the company's "Happy" campaign is pretty good. Irritating possibly - but good, yes. It's product advertising promoting specific benefits in a memorable way.

However, the "building our business around you" re-branding campaign is a diamond dusted dog turd reminiscent of Abbey's "turning banking on its head" catastrophe.

The two ads so far have:

1. Compared the corporate name change to the impact of actors' stage names. Irrelevant.
2. Announced a bunch of overused and empty brand values that no-one really believes anymore.

Incorporating the re-branding into the "Happy" campaign would have made a stronger association in my opinion. It would have cost a truckload less money too.

What's more, with the running of financial institutions currently under close media scrutiny, such a wasteful and pointless campaign is a potential PR disaster. Particularly as Aviva have just announced they're cutting 1,100 jobs in the UK. It's obscene. Grrrr!

Questionable creativity

I know I've picked on car ads before but these big ticket items seem to attract big budget drivel.

Ford are airing some particularly pretentious pap on UK television screens these days. For example, people floating their old ugly cars off with balloons once they've seen a Mondeo. Or, more obscurely, a bunch of TVs with art displayed on them driving around a city at night before they turn into the new Fiesta. Maybe I just don't get it. Maybe I'm being unfair.

It seems that the Fiesta ad presents the car as the "spirit of now". I'm paraphrasing a bit but according to the ad agency's blog, the images on the TV screens are works defining the essence of modern life and culture today by cutting-edge creative talent from all over Europe. You can read more about the ad on the Ogilvy blog here. There's also a link to watch it if you want.

Hmm yes. very clever. Although I'm not sure David Ogilvy would have approved of such an indulgence in his name.

Being called "the creative industries", advertising companies forget their role demands more than making stuff up. They perform a marketing function. Maybe if they were referred to as "the creative marketing industries" they would remember that they were paid to sell stuff.

In contrast, I saw an ad for the Vauxhall Zafira the other day that creatively promoted one of the key differentiating benefits of this product. It showed the vehicle driving around while people made effortless adjustments to their normally static environment to make life easier. For example, two cars needed to pass in a narrow alley, so a man in the alley gives a building a little push to make the alley wider, and so on. Before the ad is finished we see that two extra seats fold out of the floor in the boot when you need them.

Ask yourself - would you choose a car because the ad is arty, or because you can share the school run with one of the neighbours?

Someone tell me I'm wrong.

How much should I pay for a sales letter?

Checking out the competition is always enlightening. I've been looking at websites of other copywriters and noticed a few publish sample fees for common jobs. Being a direct marketing nerd I'm always intrigued by the cost for a letter.

I'm amazed at the number of writers offering one or two page sales letters for £50. Even a cheap writer is only allowing two hours work at most at that fee. Yet the same people charge four or five times as much for a company brochure.

Here's the question - how can anyone get to grips with understanding your business, it's values, your products, why anyone should buy them, your customers, your target market, your competitors and so on; then actually write the thing in a way that convinces those target prospects to respond, all within a couple of hours?

More realistic fees for a researched letter, one that's more likely to get a good response, start around £250. That's about the same as a basic brochure. Think of it this way, the value isn't in the quantity of material, it's in what it does for you.

Or you can waste £50 plus the cost of paper, printing and postage.

So, if you need a letter or email to promote your business, my advice is to look for a copywriter who knows the difference between selling and telling. A marketing or agency background is usually a good sign. Direct Marketing experience is even better, but then I would say that.

Working without briefs

Nope, not talking about going commando. Saw this excellent piece of advice in Marketing Week yesterday:

"The brief is the most important piece of information issued by a client to an agency.It's from this that everything else flows, so it's vital that every effort is taken to prepare the best documentation of what is required. Creative thinkers need the tightest parameters to produce the most inventive response."
Scott Knox, Marketing Communication Consultants Association

There aren't many excuses for not bothering to write a brief. If there's time to reject first concepts and drafts, there's always time to write a brief. Here's a few brief tales from both sides of the divide.

It's a rush job
During a stint in an agency I was given a rush job - 2 days to come up with concepts and 1st draft copy for a mail pack.

The AM (Agency Muppet, otherwise known as the Account Manager if they're any good) met with the client for a half hour meeting. He fed this back to me in 2 minutes and gave me his extensive notes, which nearly filled the post-it. He rejected 1st concepts without going back to the client because:

1. "Oh yeah, there's no budget for photography."
2. "Actually, I now remember that they specifically didn't want to say that."
   
3. "Or that."

Day wasted. Deadline missed. Yep, muppet.

Chinese whispers
Freelancing often throws up some odd situations. Last year I worked on a letter for a copywriting agency who were working for a design agency who had been appointed by the client.

The client met with the design agency and briefed verbally. Probably over a nice cup of tea and some biscuits. The design agency then passed the materials provided by the client to the copywriting agency with some basic instructions. The copywriting agency forwarded what they had to me. The first draft of the four page letter I wrote was rejected outright as the client said "it didn't meet the brief". It became a rush job.

If only the brief had been an actual piece of paper that you could hold in your hands and share. Written communication is what separates mankind from the animals. Still, it was only the big Christmas campaign for a charity so it wasn't like it was important.

Make 'em earn it!
I swear this is true.

Working in a marketing department some years ago I stated my intention to write a brief for a project to my manager. Her commercially retarded response still makes me twitch, "No, make them (the agency) earn their money." Hmm, imagine having a builder start work without plans, would you get your money's worth?

No surprise, the job fell in a vat of poo and started running up chargeable re-work fees. And there's my final lesson - no brief, no guarantees.

Conclusion
If you're in a hurry - write a brief.
If don't' want to be disappointed - write a brief.
If you don't want to pay for extra work - write a brief.

If you need a bit of help with your briefs (chuckle), have a look at the Chartered Institute of Marketing's guide here.

Marketing doesn't work - all is lost!

"I've tried everything"

You see this a lot on the business forums.

No explanation, just desperation. When you've poured your life savings and 60 odd hours a week into something you had absolute belief in, desperation is putting it mildly.

A bit of fishing reveals that yes, they have tried many forms of promotion, but not in a planned way. Mostly out of desperation. Funnily enough.

Here's the tip: Have a plan. For the love of lemmings, let planning be your guide. Plan.

Meeting the needs of customers profitably
That's how the Chartered Institute of Marketing define marketing. So, start with your customers.

1. Who are they?
2. What do you want them to know?
3. What do you want them to do?

and the really important one...

4. Why should they?

Alright, there's a teeny bit more to planning than this like, knowing your market, watching your competitors, predicting the future (seriously!), blah blah... buy a book, there's loads.

But, before you get bogged in detail, just keep those 4 questions in mind. Especially the first and last - they're the ones you might forget in desperation.

Slogan Toss

A Gaelic dish of fish giblets and turnips?
Actually, no. This is Slogan Toss...

"In the race for value, make sure you choose Citroen"

Saw this on the telly last night. The race for value? Is that like the queue in Poundland?

Someone got paid to write that. Actual real money. Probably a lot. I blame the buyer.

The Slogan Toss Top Ten of Shame - Call for entries...
You're already thinking of something you've seen that's worse. Go on, lets hear it.

Post a comment now, while it's still making you twitch.

Why Slogan Toss? Because they are thrown together with such careless abandon. And, because they're complete toss.